Doing What You Fear

A few years back I was invited to perform with one of our better ‘community’ orchestras in Los Angeles. Under normal circumstances I would think nothing of such an invitation; this one was different.

The conductor had his heart set on one concerto. A concerto I had only toyed with now and again over the years. One that I didn’t feel particularly in love with, and, to be honest, one that intimidated me as well.

I’m talking of Tchaikovsky.

So I took a deep breath, thought for a moment, and said, ‘Yes, I’d love to.’

About a year in front of the concert I spent some time ‘putting my hands on the thing.’ After a few weeks I thought I had a decent sense of it, and, as other concerts needed attention, I put it aside.

My serious work started about six months out.

One of the problems I’d had with Tchaikovsky, incidentally, is the way in which it is often approached. That is, as a ‘war-horse’ that is dug into from start to finish. No, I would see it as essentially balletic music.

My other problem with it had been its length. The Tchaikovsky is a VERY long song.

Nevertheless, when I agreed to take it on I also made a pact with myself to play it from memory – perhaps some of you younger people, or ones with the memory of an elephant, may be thinking, ‘what’s the big deal.’ The rest of you, however, will know ‘what’s the big deal.’

It’s not only long; it’s complicated, and dangerous. I knew very quickly that I would need some powerful strategies to make a success of it.

Fortunately I’d been working with my counting method for some time before this. I had also been using visualization as a tool since my days with Milstein.

But I needed more.

The preparation for that Tchaikovsky performance led me to new levels of violinistic efficiency. I had to play smarter than I’d ever played previously.

Now I know where a good deal of the fear I felt about Tchaikovsky came from. It was the fear of stepping out from what was comfortable. The fear of, what was for me, uncharted waters.

At 42 I stepped up to the plate and gave my first performance of a centerpiece of the violin repertoire. And I gave it without sacrificing or compromising the standards I hold for myself. Indeed I believe I outdid myself.

You can do the same.

And if you’d appreciate some new tools to help you do so, I recommend you internalize every concept and technique to be found in ‘Kreutzer for Violin Mastery’. Mind you, there will be more to follow, but the tools found therein will take you very, very far.

All the best,

Clayton Haslop

P.S. This morning I took up the Tchaikovsky for the first time since that performance 7 years ago. I was delighted and amazed by the level of ‘muscle memory’ still in place. I must have done my work well.