A Well Disciplined Ego

Yesterday I received an email that got me to thinking. It seems one our subscribers has a little challenge with nerves. Well, maybe it’s not so little.

His bow not only shakes, his right hand has a rather distressing way of creeping up the bow while he is playing – must admit, this is a new one for me.

In any case, this certainly doesn’t sound like a very enjoyable experience.

So what is this thing with nerves that gives so many of us trouble.

This morning it hit me.

It’s a Lack of Self Discipline.

Alright, alright, don’t get all upset at me now, most of us DO feel nervous before a crowd of listeners. For some it takes only one.

But the fact remains that the fear of judgment can only exist where ego exists. And what good is an ego doing you if it’s causing you the loss of pleasure, just because some Jack or Jill is within earshot?

Not much.

So let’s get rid of them I say. They represent wrong seeing. A mistaken set of priorities. A misunderstanding of self worth.

Everyday you practice, seek only after joy. Don’t be content with mere self-satisfaction.

True Joy is untouchable by ego. It vibrates on another level. In order to experience joy you cannot be in conflict. You cannot compare your accomplishment against another’s.

Therefore you exist in a state of peace.

It’s all well and good to have goals; to be the best you can be. But if your goals are a sword by which you live, surely you will die by it.

Only a fool rich in pride thinks this becomes a life.

The measure of an artist, in my book, is authenticity. Authenticity is informed by the love of truth.

The truth is that, ultimately, you can take no more credit for drawing a bow across a string than you can the creation of the heavens.

But what you CAN do is allow the bow to be drawn.

Find the spirit, the passion in the music, and allow yourself to be moved by it. At the same time question the Authority of your ego. By what right does seek to censure your true birthright, the expression of joy.

Now, I know what I’ve just been moved to write is not quite what my subscriber expected from me. But it is truly at the root of his discomfiture.

Naturally it is good and decent to put your best foot forward when you go out to perform. Toward that end you must prepare well. You must warm up before going on stage.

You must breathe.

And you must surrender your ego at the stage door.

All the best,

Clayton Haslop

P.S. Yes, preparation is essential. And many a secret of successful preparation can be found in Kreutzer for Violin Mastery.