What I’ll Do for Nerves at the Academy Awards

A few days ago I received an email asking my advice for ‘nerves.’ It was timely, really, as the next day I learned that I will be playing a beautiful solo from the score to the movie ‘Defiance’ on Oscar night – with over a billion people tuned in.

So here’s what I’m doing now, and what I will do Sunday night – by the way, it will come some two thirds the way through the 3 1/2 hour show, when the orchestra performs a medley of the ‘best musical score’ nominations.

First, I memorized the thing, wasn’t difficult as it’s only some 30 seconds in length.

Next, I explored all the fingering choices available to find those that suit the expressive content of the music AND capitalize on the remaining strengths, and newly found strengths, of my technique – bear in mind, my left side is not what it was even a year ago, and I must do things differently to compensate.

Now that I’ve got my hands on it, I’m practicing it in; that is, playing through while I take as many positive mental notes, or pictures, of myself as possible. I’ll be using these images to lead myself all the way through the thing on Sunday.

Let me explain a little more fully how this plays out.

The solo begins with a down bow quarter note E on the D string. In my headset I will be hearing quarter note ‘Clicks’ to which I am to conform; with some artistic license.

As I listen to the 2 clicks before I enter, I will be ‘seeing’ myself play that down-bow E. I’ll be ‘feeling’ the frog of the bow traveling away from my body in a horizontal plane, and my first finger resting easily on the D string.

When I’ve begun the down-bow I will have the next beat playing in my head the same way; and so on, and so on. Right through to the end.

As I do this I’ll be staying mindful of my breathing. Nice, deep belly breaths that relax my neck, shoulders, arms and hands – if you want a little more information on how I do this you can check out my little DVD called Dynamic Breath Control for Violinists.

And finally, I’ll ask myself to verbalize the beats – just in my head, not out loud. Now, as I said above, there will be a ‘click’ going in my headset. You may wonder why I would need to do this.

It’s not to ‘beat time.’

I do it as a further way of keeping myself in the moment; of focusing my mind on the job that I’m doing Right Now. The last thing I want is to allow my imagination to dwell on thoughts such as, ‘Gee, a billion people, that’s sure a lot.’

Now, having taken you through all this there is one more thing to add. What I will play is a gorgeous, heartfelt bit of writing. And the whole point of it is to arose an emotional response in the listener.

So all the preparation I do is really to free myself from ‘me’ and enter a space beyond; the space all those ‘listeners; inhabit. Yet at the same time, as the one playing, I recognize the need for support and control.

And that is what ‘practice’ is all about. Giving yourself the support you need to express yourself fully no matter the circumstance.

All the best,

Clayton Haslop

P.S. So the short of it is to use your imagination to create positive, accurate images of what you want; find mental tools to keep yourself in the moment and ‘listening’ to them; and breathe life from beginning to end. Now go practice.